How to Love Yourself After Self-Neglect

The Struggle Between Loving Others and Neglecting Oneself

In the pursuit of loving those around us, we often find ourselves sacrificing our own well-being. Dr. Lebray shares his personal journey of feeling exhausted and drained despite fulfilling his responsibilities as a father and provider. He realized that in focusing on others, he had neglected his own needs.

The Silent Promise to Be a Present Father

Growing up without a father, Dr. Lebray made a promise to his newborn son that he would be the father he never had. However, the demands of work and providing for his family took a toll on his time and energy.

The Realization of Self-Neglect Amidst Care for Others

Despite his efforts to be a good father, Dr. Lebray found himself feeling guilty for spending money on himself or taking time off work. He recognized the disconnect between his actions and the love he felt for his family.

The Importance of Self-Love

Dr. Lebray emphasizes that loving ourselves is not selfish but essential for our well-being and happiness. When we neglect ourselves, we become depleted and less capable of fulfilling our responsibilities to others.

The Five Priorities in Human Life

Research has identified five common priorities among humans, including God, family, money, career, and health. However, often our own well-being is not prioritized.

How Our Time Is Spent: The Gap Between Life and Death

A survey revealed that the average person spends eight hours working, eight hours sleeping, three hours watching television, two hours on personal care, and just one hour on other activities, with self-care often receiving the least amount of time.

Five Steps to Build a Relationship with Ourselves

Dr. Lebray outlines five transformative steps to foster self-love:

1. Marry Yourself

Make a commitment to treat yourself with the same love and respect you would offer a spouse. Celebrate your accomplishments and honor your vows to yourself.

2. Be Selfish

Prioritize your own needs to develop self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth. By taking care of yourself, you become more capable of giving to others.

3. Stop Caring

Practice saying "I don't care" to unnecessary obligations that drain your energy. This is not about being dismissive but about setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being.

4. Stop Compromising and Sacrificing

Avoid actions that diminish your self-worth. Value your own desires and refuse to compromise your happiness for the sake of others.

5. Treat Yourself the Way You Want to Be Treated by Others

Treat yourself with the same respect and consideration you desire from others. This fosters unconditional self-love and positive social interactions.

The Choice Between Limitations and Freedom

Dr. Lebray concludes by posing a series of questions: freedom or limitation, happiness or sadness, unity or separation, progress or stagnation, balance or imbalance. He reminds us that our well-being is directly tied to our relationship with ourselves. By choosing self-love, we unlock freedom, happiness, progress, unity, and balance.